We’ve all seen them. They drag their crusty, misshapen forms around, spreading despair and agony in their wake. No, I’m not talking about trolls, I’m talking about HR people! We’ve all worked with them before, but some might look at you and think that you fit the bill. Here are a handful of signs you might be turning into one of them!

1. You secretly cheer when it’s time to put an employee on a performance improvement plan
2. You have immense pride in the fact that your department has resisted that newfangled “Human Resources” title and still proclaims itself “Personnel”
3. You love creating new policies
4. When an interviewee asks you why you like working there, you give them a blank stare
5. In order to save money on healthcare benefits you tell your employees to Google their symptoms
6. You’re secretly hoping the government will add a few more required forms for new hires to complete (gotta love that paperwork!)
7. You have instituted a written performance appraisal process that is excruciatingly painful for both employees and managers to navigate
8. Your employee HR portal says, “Good luck finding anything in this mess” with dozens and dozens of links and documents strewn about
9. You keep holding out for your “seat at the table”
10. Your extent of your foray into HR metrics includes knowing the current number of employees and how many parties you’ve planned
11. You read this list and thought, “Huh, that’s not so bad.”

I thought everyone needed a little humor to kick off this fabulous Friday! I’d love for some of you to kick in your own ideas to keep this going. Any takers? 

Eleven Signs You Need to Get Out of HR is a post from: UpstartHR

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Halloween costumes I made for Bella and Bree

Human resources professionals run into monsters at work more often than others. We see the dark side of people, and it’s easy to make comparisons to these famous monsters based on those observations…

• The famed “B.O.” problem that everyone seems to visit HR about. A manager has an employee who smells like he hasn’t showered in weeks and wouldn’t know deodorant if it slapped him in the face. His hair is greasy, and the lack of personal hygiene is really just starting to creep people out. Sounds like a werewolf to me!
• These people flutter around and suck the life out of your organization on a daily basis. They use gossip and other subversive activities behind the scenes to undermine the culture and leadership, often without anyone seeing the danger until it’s too late. Maybe vampires?
• This person showed up out of nowhere. Nobody knows why he’s there or what he does, but he continues to collect a paycheck every week because nobody can get the nerve to talk to the guy because, honestly, he’s kind of creepy. Creature from the Black Lagoon, anyone?
• These actively disengaged employees are hazardous to your organization’s health. Not only are they not working to better the company, they are actively working against it! They may not be the smartest people around, but brute force can get a lot accomplished if everyone is working toward the same goal. Of course, zombies don’t always have to be a bad thing. (Click here for 10 reasons to hire zombies)

And while he’s not exactly a monster, people still dress up as Batman for Halloween! I did a fun post a while back on what it would be like if Batman ran your HR department. Funny stuff!

Monsters at work is a post from: UpstartHR

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I have read The Levity Effect: Why It Pays to Lighten Up, and I think it’s a fantastic book for people to read in order to understand the impact that humor and levity can have in the workplace. Scott Christopher, the author of the book and speaker at the session, had so many fantastic quips and quotes that it might as well have been a comedy session with some learning thrown in. It was phenomenal and I can’t say enough how much I enjoyed hearing him speak.

One of our core values is to have a safe and enjoyable workplace. That’s why we have photos of office staff in men’s helicopter flight suits and videos of bagpipers playing in our lobby. We take the enjoyable part very seriously. Well, not so seriously. Anyway, you get the point.

Five quick points:

1. Figure out what’s fun and share that (healing patients vs. serving food, building relationships vs. recruiting candidates, etc.)
2. Herb Kelleher-Southwest Airlines-order of recruiting importance from least to greatest: education, experience, humor
3. “Hard” interview question? What’s the most fun you’ve ever had at work? Ask things to find out what people like? Ask how people would respond to wacky situations that might be common at work.
4. Google’s gives their engineers 20% of their time for fun/non-work related stuff
5. You don’t have to be funny to enjoy humor.

The Levity Effect: Why It Pays to Lighten Up (#HRFL11) is a post from: UpstartHR

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Work communication doesn’t have to be boring and tedious, even if it’s mandated by law or some other legal statute. Make it interesting and fun, and people will be more likely to pay attention and do what you want them to do!

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How to have fun at work is a post from: UpstartHR

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So I heard that the HR Carnival for this upcoming week was going to be focused on food and HR. For some reason my brain defaulted to comparing the characters in every workplace with a bag of trail mix. Check out the short (kinda funny!) video below for more.

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Notes

• Ain’t Bella the cutest?
• Fruits-they have been around forever, they are kind of sour, and even if we don’t enjoy them they are pretty boring and don’t rock the boat
• M&Ms-these are the best part of the whole batch, but just like in life, we only have a limited number of M&Ms (aka star employees) to work with
• Nuts-the nuts make up the bulk of our workforce, they have their little quirks and we spend most of our time dealing with this group

Okay, so it was a fun little exercise. Want to tell a story about a “nut” in your own workplace? I’d love to hear it!

Working with nuts, fruits, and M&Ms is a post from: UpstartHR

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I recently found out that I made the list of the top 25 digital influencers in the online HR space. Pretty cool, and I’m humbled to be among such esteemed company.

But some of you might wonder what it takes to be a top digital influencer. Here’s my own secret recipe for how to make it happen.

• Invest 5+ hours a week writing blog posts, responding to comments, and dreaming up new ideas
• Guest blog for anyone who will let you near their site
• Decide that one blog isn’t enough and start another one
• Write like you speak
• Not being afraid to look silly on camera
• Plan an HR event gets get the attention of hundreds of people
• Collaborate with anyone and everyone (and their pets, just to cover all the bases)
• Start a social media mentoring program
• Walk on your hands
• Anything else is just gravy!

Seriously, it’s neat to think that I’ve been able to do this kind of stuff in such a short period of time. Having this opportunity has been one of the most amazing things in my life and career thus far. Thanks to everyone for their support! Looking forward to what the future holds.

What it takes to be a top digital influencer is a post from: UpstartHR

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Swoop and poop. We’ve all seen it before. The manager is perpetually disengaged. They are doing their own thing and staying out of the way. Then, without warning, they jump into a situation and use their power to force a decision. Or maybe they drop a lot of criticism on team members and second guess their every action. And, just as quickly as they arrived, they take off again without a moment’s notice, leaving the rest of us to deal with the aftermath.

Sound familiar?

It’s one of the common types of bad management that makes us all cringe. So why is it still around? The instances where I’ve seen it are where teams are scared to stand up to someone or when the person’s in a senior position that is above reproach. Let’s kill this thing once and for all, please?

Ever been in your own personal swoop and poop situation? Let’s hear some details on how things went and how they worked out (or didn’t!) in the end.

Swoop and poop management is a post from: UpstartHR

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