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If Batman was in HR

 

Batman tat. Coolness.
Batman tat. Coolness.

I’m a Batman fan. Yes, my geekery is showing, but you know it’s fun to watch! What if Batman was in HR? What would happen? Well, here are a few of my thoughts, but I’d love to hear yours, too!

  1. Strategic plans would always begin with the phrase: “hop into the Batmobile.”
  2. Theft of office supplies would drop drastically.
  3. Capes and masks would be required in the new dress code.
  4. Senior management would be known as “villains.”
  5. He could give a drug screen, interview an applicant, and terminate an employee using gadgets in his utility belt.
  6. He’d teach the receptionist seven forms of martial arts to use on annoying sales people.
  7. Office hours would be 8pm-4am.
  8. Admins would be called “sidekicks.”
  9. Christmas bonuses would be $1M per employee from an “anonymous donor.”
  10. Employees would be too terrified to perform poorly.
  11. Job titles like “bat-accountant” and “bat-IT manager” would be commonplace.

I’m sure that’s not all, but I need some help! What would be different if Batman was in your HR department?

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Ben

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18 responses to “If Batman was in HR”

  1. Debbie Brown Avatar
    Debbie Brown

    Ben my son Kevin (aka Carlos Santana) says superman is way better than batman.. Super powers no gadgets. Don’t you think Xray vision, leaping tall buildings, stoping speeding locomotives and ofcourse flying.. These would come in handy (according to Carlos).

    Ps I read out here that entepreneurs bring supplies to work from home so you dont have to worry about that group batman !

  2. HR Minion Avatar
    HR Minion

    Holy tattoo Batman, you have a tattoo of Batman!? That’s full of geeky awesomeness! :)

  3. Alicia Arenas (@AliciaSanera) Avatar
    Alicia Arenas (@AliciaSanera)

    Ben, you had me laughing so hard I scared my dog! I wonder what Hancock would be like as an HR pro?

    Thanks for making my night!

    Alicia

  4. adowling Avatar
    adowling

    I could use a Bat Cave. My office would have a secret entrance that only I and my butler knew how to get to. Said butler would bring me coffee, do my reports for me and help me get out of an employee meeting that I really didnt want to go to.

    In my Bat World, I’m Batman; in case you couldn’t tell. Except I’m not all airy talking like Christian Bale was in the most recent Batman. My mad ninja skillz will come in handy when I’m in my bat suit. Judo Chop!

  5. Steve Boese Avatar
    Steve Boese

    You would have a canister of ‘Disgruntled Employee Repellent’ in your utility belt that you could spray as needed to defuse difficult situations.

  6. Trish McFarlane Avatar
    Trish McFarlane

    That was hysterical Ben. Is that really your tat? If so, I am SO impressed now!! I decided I am going to work tomorrow and calling my assistant my sidekick from now on. I will say I like Batman but I am particularly fond of Catwoman…..m-e-o-w!!

  7. Ben Avatar
    Ben

    @Debbie A Superman one might be in the works, but Batman’s definitely my favorite superhero. :-)
    @Shauna Not my tattoo (and if you click, you can see the better original photo) But that dude’s still full of that geeky awesomeness!
    @Alicia LOL Another idea right there. :-) Maybe soon…
    @April Ha! I feel insignificant next to your bat-genius. :-)
    @Steve Oooh! That is perfect! See? I knew there was a great idea that I missed!
    @Trish No, but thanks for thinking I’m that cool. :-D Sidekick sounds like more fun, anyway!

  8. The HR Store Avatar
    The HR Store

    Hilarious! In Bat-World…ALL employees and new-hires should undergo ‘BatCamp’ (ala BootCamp) to get introduced to ‘BatWay’ @ Work! ‘ :) Not easy to work nights dressed in Capes & Masks.

  9. JA_Holland Avatar
    JA_Holland

    All paperwork would be taken care of by an Admin. named Alfred.

  10. Anastasia Avatar
    Anastasia

    Is this in honor of DragonCon in Atlanta this weekend?

  11. Krista Francis Avatar
    Krista Francis

    Thanks for the laughs, Ben! I am going to repost my “Human Resources Sidekick” position and order my own utility belt!

  12. novice-hr Avatar
    novice-hr

    sorry but i have to agree with the Debbie. Superman is way better. Is it a plane? Is it a bird? No it’s SUPERMAN!!

  13. Jody Skinner Avatar
    Jody Skinner

    If Batman were in HR… all policies would be written in riddles. Oh wait!! That’s not a change.

  14. Angela B Avatar
    Angela B

    – Line managers would use the Bat-phone to request help.
    – Sidekicks, er…Bat-Admins or Robin the Admin would have to exclaim things like “Holy HR”, “Irritating I-9s” or “Outrageous Overtime” when confronted with awkward employee issues
    – The secret identity would actually help reduce the number of after-hours e-mails

  15. 10 reasons to hire zombies | UpstartHR

    […] Drop it in the comments below! And if you enjoyed this list, then you might want to check out the Batman list as […]

  16. body tattoos Avatar
    body tattoos

    Great post, love tattoo art especially celtic stuff.

  17. Kitty Osdoba Avatar
    Kitty Osdoba

    Great info, thanks for the post!

  18. audwin lindsay Avatar
    audwin lindsay

    If Batman was in HR, daily attire would be Black and sometimes dark grey

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