If Batman was in HR - upstartHR

If Batman was in HR

 
Batman tat. Coolness.
Batman tat. Coolness.

I’m a Batman fan. Yes, my geekery is showing, but you know it’s fun to watch! What if Batman was in HR? What would happen? Well, here are a few of my thoughts, but I’d love to hear yours, too!

  1. Strategic plans would always begin with the phrase: “hop into the Batmobile.”
  2. Theft of office supplies would drop drastically.
  3. Capes and masks would be required in the new dress code.
  4. Senior management would be known as “villains.”
  5. He could give a drug screen, interview an applicant, and terminate an employee using gadgets in his utility belt.
  6. He’d teach the receptionist seven forms of martial arts to use on annoying sales people.
  7. Office hours would be 8pm-4am.
  8. Admins would be called “sidekicks.”
  9. Christmas bonuses would be $1M per employee from an “anonymous donor.”
  10. Employees would be too terrified to perform poorly.
  11. Job titles like “bat-accountant” and “bat-IT manager” would be commonplace.

I’m sure that’s not all, but I need some help! What would be different if Batman was in your HR department?


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    Comments

    1. Debbie Brown says...

      Ben my son Kevin (aka Carlos Santana) says superman is way better than batman.. Super powers no gadgets. Don’t you think Xray vision, leaping tall buildings, stoping speeding locomotives and ofcourse flying.. These would come in handy (according to Carlos).

      Ps I read out here that entepreneurs bring supplies to work from home so you dont have to worry about that group batman !

      September 3rd, 2009 at 6:37 pm
    2. HR Minion says...

      Holy tattoo Batman, you have a tattoo of Batman!? That’s full of geeky awesomeness! :)

      September 3rd, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    3. Ben, you had me laughing so hard I scared my dog! I wonder what Hancock would be like as an HR pro?

      Thanks for making my night!

      Alicia

      September 3rd, 2009 at 7:18 pm
    4. adowling says...

      I could use a Bat Cave. My office would have a secret entrance that only I and my butler knew how to get to. Said butler would bring me coffee, do my reports for me and help me get out of an employee meeting that I really didnt want to go to.

      In my Bat World, I’m Batman; in case you couldn’t tell. Except I’m not all airy talking like Christian Bale was in the most recent Batman. My mad ninja skillz will come in handy when I’m in my bat suit. Judo Chop!

      September 3rd, 2009 at 7:45 pm
    5. Steve Boese says...

      You would have a canister of ‘Disgruntled Employee Repellent’ in your utility belt that you could spray as needed to defuse difficult situations.

      September 3rd, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    6. That was hysterical Ben. Is that really your tat? If so, I am SO impressed now!! I decided I am going to work tomorrow and calling my assistant my sidekick from now on. I will say I like Batman but I am particularly fond of Catwoman…..m-e-o-w!!

      September 3rd, 2009 at 8:48 pm
    7. Ben says...

      @Debbie A Superman one might be in the works, but Batman’s definitely my favorite superhero. :-)
      @Shauna Not my tattoo (and if you click, you can see the better original photo) But that dude’s still full of that geeky awesomeness!
      @Alicia LOL Another idea right there. :-) Maybe soon…
      @April Ha! I feel insignificant next to your bat-genius. :-)
      @Steve Oooh! That is perfect! See? I knew there was a great idea that I missed!
      @Trish No, but thanks for thinking I’m that cool. :-D Sidekick sounds like more fun, anyway!

      September 3rd, 2009 at 9:31 pm
    8. The HR Store says...

      Hilarious! In Bat-World…ALL employees and new-hires should undergo ‘BatCamp’ (ala BootCamp) to get introduced to ‘BatWay’ @ Work! ‘ :) Not easy to work nights dressed in Capes & Masks.

      September 4th, 2009 at 12:16 am
    9. JA_Holland says...

      All paperwork would be taken care of by an Admin. named Alfred.

      September 4th, 2009 at 6:35 am
    10. Anastasia says...

      Is this in honor of DragonCon in Atlanta this weekend?

      September 4th, 2009 at 7:57 am
    11. Krista Francis says...

      Thanks for the laughs, Ben! I am going to repost my “Human Resources Sidekick” position and order my own utility belt!

      September 4th, 2009 at 8:59 am
    12. novice-hr says...

      sorry but i have to agree with the Debbie. Superman is way better. Is it a plane? Is it a bird? No it’s SUPERMAN!!

      September 4th, 2009 at 10:54 am
    13. Jody Skinner says...

      If Batman were in HR… all policies would be written in riddles. Oh wait!! That’s not a change.

      September 4th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
    14. Angela B says...

      - Line managers would use the Bat-phone to request help.
      – Sidekicks, er…Bat-Admins or Robin the Admin would have to exclaim things like “Holy HR”, “Irritating I-9s” or “Outrageous Overtime” when confronted with awkward employee issues
      – The secret identity would actually help reduce the number of after-hours e-mails

      September 8th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
    15. body tattoos says...

      Great post, love tattoo art especially celtic stuff.

      November 12th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
    16. Kitty Osdoba says...

      Great info, thanks for the post!

      March 26th, 2010 at 11:07 pm


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