It’s been a whirlwind this past week and I’m just catching my breath for a bit. The site was hacked for the first time in over six years. Lesson learned: choose a strong password and don’t ignore strange activity with your web host.

I was able to scramble and get it working again, but if you happen to run across something that doesn’t look right, please let me know and I’ll address it ASAP.

In the meantime, I’m pumped for a wide variety of reasons. Let’s cover a few seemingly random ones.

  1. I just finished reading a book on my flight today that was very enlightening and insightful. It shared many commonalities with another book I read recently, and I plan to tie them together in an upcoming post. Both were written by CEOs of large organizations, and some of the key pieces of advice that held them through the tough times were very similar, despite one of them being in manufacturing and the other in healthcare. I enjoy seeing similarities like those.
  2. In other non-HR news, the little guy is 7 months old now and is just trying to decide if he wants to crawl a bit. It’s so fun to watch him use his head to prop himself up. That laughter is priceless. My little girls are growing up, too, and it’s so crazy to think that I posted here when they were first born. I still remember my pal Mervyn being awake because although it was late here in the US it was morning time for him in the UK.
  3. I am spending a day in Delray Beach today with the Brandon Hall Group leadership team to talk about my role and what the future holds. I’m excited about the possibilities.
  4. I am talking with a local business leader in a few weeks about how he started his business with Christian principles. This is a passion of mine so it’s really neat to learn about how others are pursing a calling on their own terms. Should be a fun conversation and will share any insights I gather.
  5. I’m still volunteering with my NASHRM chapter. I love seeing the inner workings of a nonprofit serving its members, and as a longstanding introvert, having that natural “in” to start conversations is a great opportunity for me. Being on the board has really helped me to be more outgoing, despite it being against my natural tendency. Any other introverts out there?
  6. I ran two races a week ago on back to back days and am still paying for it. Plantar fascitis in my right foot/heel is AWFUL. In other news, I placed 8th in the 15k mountain race and ~3rd place in the 10 mile trail race, so at least it wasn’t all for naught.
  7. I mentioned last week that I was training a young man to run. It’s been fun to chat with him because high schoolers are often awkward and it reminds me that people who HIRE these workers have additional challenges. Kudos to those of you that do.
  8. Vacation Bible School is this week every night. I am relegated to the outdoors because I am loud and can’t stand still. I’ve led the games for at least five years running. I wonder why…
  9. I had my first Uber ride yesterday. Interesting. There isn’t any need for them where I live, so I won’t be able to try again for a while. Lots of regulation and push back on this industry, and I’m curious to see what happens over time. You can now even get food cooked for you–like Airbnb for your belly.
  10. I haven’t been this busy in a while. I have draft ideas to write about stacking up around my ears, but think I do this every summer. I get done with work and immediately jump into family time with Melanie and the kids at home. I may shift back to once a week until August.
  11. Another tradition Melanie and I have is watching a new TV series over the summer. We love the hero stuff, which includes Arrow and The Flash. I’m trying to decide if we will go for Gotham over the summer. She has been hooked on When Calls the Heart and I’d like to catch up on The 100, but time with the kids is at a premium for us.

Probably nothing enlightening or exciting, but wanted to share a few “tidbits and trivialities,” as my favorite fiction author F. Paul Wilson likes to say. Enjoy your week!

how to mentorTaking an informal mentoring role in support of someone else is easy, and you can start in minutes. Plus you get the chance to help shape the direction of someone else’s path, and that is an exciting prospect. Today I’m going to talk about how you can do this in your own life to bring inspiration and guidance to someone else.

The Scale

The first reason I always hear from others as to why they don’t think they can mentor anyone is that they aren’t “good enough” to be credible. Here’s the truth–based on your experiences, education, interests, and values, you have something to offer someone.

When I started out, I thought the same thing. Then I learned that we’re all working on a scale. Let’s use running for example (hey, I love it enough to write a book on it, I might as well use it here).

I have been running for years. While I am not an Olympic-level athlete, I have picked up a significant amount of practical experience and understand the do’s/don’ts.

Recently a friend asked if I would run with his nephew, a talented high school sophomore runner with little training experience under his belt. I knew it would be a fun experience, so I immediately accepted. In the past few weeks I’ve been running with him and teaching him some of the basics of training.

If we want to think of a 10-point scale, I might be a 7 in terms of experience. He falls more around a 2. While I am not at the pinnacle of the running world, I might as well be in his view.

In a similar vein, if a new runner joins the team this year, this young man is in a position to mentor that person based on what knowledge and experience he is accumulating daily. Someone starting out as a 1 would look at someone higher up (even at a level 2 on the scale) as someone with experience to offer.

I’ve also applied this approach in leading a Bible study for some friends. I’m not a scholar, but I have enough basic knowledge to pull insights from the material and share them with others by adding some context. On that scale I feel like a 3 or 4, but for anyone below that, they are hungry to hear what I can share. Likewise, I’m always listening to those that I feel are more knowledgeable so that I can improve my own understanding on a regular basis.

Your Turn

Think about any area of your life–spiritual, career, financial, physical, marital… Someone around you can use some support from you. Even if you’re “only” a 3 or 4 on a scale of 1 through 10, you have something to offer.

The final piece of advice is important: people have to be open to receiving your input. If you are trying to dump advice on people who are not interested in listening, then you’re wasting your time and theirs, and you’re harming any future relationship with that person. If you offer something, wait to see how they respond. If they’re welcoming of the input and seem open to more, then keep it coming.

We can all make the world a better place through small actions like these. It doesn’t take a huge revolutionary shift–many small ones will do the trick just the same.

Who are you going to influence today? 

A few weeks from now I’ll be joining thousands of my closest HR friends in Las Vegas for the 2015 SHRM Conference. This year is a bit different than the years I visited only as an attendee, because I will be speaking on behalf of Brandon Hall Group about strategic HR at the SHRM SmartStage, which should be a blast. Here are the details:

Strategic HR (It’s Easier Than You Think)

Monday, June 29, 2015 – 3:20pm

Session description: One of the most common suggestions a lot of HR practitioners hear is “You need to be more strategic.” The challenge for many HR pros is that the actual implementation of strategic HR practices is not always clear cut. This presentation will review several mini case studies to teach the audience how to break down problems and present strategic solutions in a simple, yet meaningful way.

Are you going?

If you are going to be in Las Vegas later this month, I would love to meet you at the event. I’m always amazed when I get to meet the great people that follow this blog. One of the fun things I get to do as an HR analyst is talk with HR pros about what’s going on in their businesses, what challenges they are facing, etc. It’s always a great conversation.

If you plan to be there, please shoot me an email and we’ll plan to connect. And if you’re not, we can still connect! Email me and we can chat on the phone or via email. I thoroughly enjoy connecting with every person I can within the HR community.

listening to podcastsTransformational learning, or transformative learning, is focused in part on learning that drives us to do things. Today I’m going to talk about what listening to over 500 hours of podcast programs has done for my learning, but first I’d like to tell a quick story.

Back when I was in high school, I played football. I was one of the smallest defensive players but somehow managed to nab a slot on the front line as a defensive end. I don’t know about you, but being ~170 pounds and facing the midsection of a 325-pound offensive tackle after he has just pulverized you into the dirt for the fiftieth time in a row isn’t my idea of a good time.

Anyway, after the Friday night games I would drive to my girlfriend’s house and we’d watch movies and have dinner together until I had to get home for curfew.

One night I was pretty tired (probably from a hard night of playing crash test dummy for a handful of 325-pound linemen, but I digress), and I was switching the radio around to find a station that would help me to stay awake for the 20 minute drive home. I happened across what sounded like an old radio program, and I realized it was a Twilight Zone episode that had been recorded for radio listeners. I was instantly hooked.

From that point on, I would leave her house every Friday night in time to listen to the first of the episode in the car. When I got home, I would park the car, wait for a commercial break, run into the house, and turn on my radio in my bedroom to listen to the rest of the episode. It was a strange and wonderful ritual, and I can still remember listening intently to some of the stories in my dark room after midnight. Spooky, but fun.

Even then I knew that audio was a more intense experience for me. I’ve read hundreds of nonfiction books in my lifetime, and I think my imagination is better for that. But I also love the opportunity to listen to stories and learn in the audio format. When I’m listening to fiction it feeds that imaginative nature and builds creativity, and when I’m listening to informational/nonfiction work I get the chance to boost my performance in all areas of life without having to dedicate the time I would if I was exclusively reading for transformational learning and personal development.

500 hours of podcasts – check

I popped open Stitcher, my favorite podcasting app, the other day and was surprised to see my “total hours of listening” number had reached 500.

In the big picture, 500 hours isn’t too much of my life. But to put it in perspective:

  • I used to count ~2000 hours as the workload for a full time staffer for one year. So if I was employed to listen to podcasts, it would be a full time job for three whole months.
  • If I follow the principles in The First 20 Hours, I could learn 25 new skills with that time.
  • If the average TV show is ~40 minutes without commercials, I could have watched about 750 shows.

Now, I know that 500 hour figure is scattered over the past two or three years that I have been using the Stitcher app on my Android, but I’m amazed at it nonetheless. In case it’s not apparent, I very much enjoy listening to audio.

But this isn’t just about my preferences. I think you would enjoy it, too. In the rest of this article I’m going to talk about what I listen to, why, how, and when/where. I hope this helps you to get a better understanding and maybe even drives you to check out some of the options out there.

Podcasts I listen to

I listen to a variety of podcasts and am always searching for more to add. I don’t do profanity, but otherwise I’m open to checking out pretty much anything.

  • HR Happy Hour–a show that lasts less than an hour, but is packed with fun conversation, interesting people, and trends affecting the world of HR.
  • Smart Passive Income–this show features great topics surrounding the world of internet marketing and has helped me with this site as well as with HRevolution.
  • 48 Days to the Work You Love–I have listened to Dan Miller on this podcast for over 8 years now. I can remember listening to an episode while driving on my honeymoon back in 2007. Great content on careers, doing what you love, and entrepreneurship. Very positive.
  • Entreleadership–Dave Ramsey’s small business/leadership focused content. They usually interview a nonfiction author and discuss the person’s latest book. Good for content focused in small chunks on specific topics.
  • Michael Hyatt–I recently added Michael to my list after several stops and starts. I like some of the content but other parts are too general/generic for me. He was the former CEO for Thomas Nelson publishers, so I like the book publishing information but some of his leadership stuff just isn’t hard-hitting enough for me.
  • Pseudopod–Last year I added some content like this and the next one as a way to get more “fun” out of the podcast medium. Pseudopod is a horror fiction show (they also produce both SciFi and fantasy options) with great narration and stories. Not every story is a winner, but often times they are.
  • No Sleep Podcast–This is the first podcast I’ve ever paid for. David, the editor, started the podcast on a whim a few years back. I was listening from the beginning. A year later he quit his job to do podcasting full time. The NSP typically covers several shorter stories and are less subtle than Pseudopod, but still great.
  • How to Do Everything–this is an NPR podcast where the hosts talk about news, listener calls, and how to do, well, everything. For instance, recently a listener called and asked why they couldn’t wear a penguin costume for the “penguin encounter” at their local aquarium. The hosts interviewed someone about penguin life in the aquarium and it was very interesting. Another recent episode talked about how one college in the UK used micropigs to help lessen testing stress. Yes, it’s usually funny as well.
  • Freakonomics–I’ve mentioned my love for Freakonomics here several times. Being a college economics professor was always one of those things I dreamed about doing but somehow made it into HR instead. I love economics and learning more about some of the unasked questions these guys focus on in the show. Very entertaining and informative.

This is not necessarily a podcast, but I also use iHeartRadio to listen to the Dave Ramsey show replay whenever I have exhausted current episodes in my podast list or when I need something that is safe for family listening. 

Why I listen

Three simple words: enjoyment, entertainment, and education.

  • Enjoyment: I just want something interesting to listen to (I rarely, if ever, listen to music in the car #fact).
  • Entertainment: I’m doing something unpleasant and want a distraction (dishes, cleaning the garage, or organizing my office).
  • Education: I am focused on a specific area and want to improve my learning (marketing, writing better copy, improving knowledge of enterprise HR vendors, etc.)

I love sharing things I hear and learn. Last week I was coaching a lady at a job fair and asked her what kinds of things she watched, read, and listened to. Her response was “junk.” I gently reminded her that what we have to say is a direct result of what we’re putting into our brains. If we want to be positive, engaged people with intelligent things to say, then we need to be putting those kinds of things into our heads.

Years ago Earl Nightingale released what some consider to be the first ever motivational audio recording (it was on an actual record, if that tells you how far back). It was called The Strangest Secret. The gist of it was this: we become what we think about. If you spend the majority of your nonworking time thinking about TV, celebrities, and other things that have zero impact on your life, then you will ultimately see the results. Similarly, if you spend a portion of that time listening and reading, you’ll see those results as well. I have documented well my love for reading, which is due in part to great quotes like this:

“The difference between where you are today and where you’ll be five years from now will be found in the quality of books you’ve read.” – Jim Rohn

But today we’re focusing not on reading, but on tranformational learning via audio. It breaks down the barrier of “I don’t like reading” for those of you that use that as a reason to avoid any sort of personal development.

I would encourage you to open your favorite podcast app and do a few quick searches for things you like. This doesn’t have to becessarily be about learning HR and leadership, although it doesn’t hurt to pick up some new ideas in those areas. For instance:

  • If you like cars, find a car/auto show
  • If you like knitting, find a knitting/crafts show
  • If you like small business, find an entrepreneurship show
  • If you love being a parent, find a parenting show
  • If you enjoy inspirational stories, find an inspiring/uplifting show

There are hundreds of options. Once you start narrowing them down you’ll have your own custom playlist, and I’d love for you to share it with me in the comments below. If you already listen to podcasts, what is your favorite show?

How I listen

I use the Stitcher app on my Android Moto X to play the podcasts. It was funny, because on a recent weekend trip we were in an area without service for a period of the drive. My wife asked how I was able to listen to the podcasts because she wasn’t even able to get Facebook up on her phone. :-)

What I do in order to save date usage is I’ll turn on the app when I’m at home or somewhere with WiFi (which is pretty much anywhere these days). It will automatically download and sync the latest episodes of my favorite shows for offline listening on the go.

For what it’s worth, I use a basic set of headphones (like these) but I’d love to have a wireless/Bluetooth pair at some point.

Where/when I listen

As I said above, I listen to podcasts when I’m driving, when I’m doing physical labor somewhere, or when I am trying to keep myself awake.

When I am doing dishes or something where I’m fairly stationary, I will often keep headphones off and let it play out loud as long as it’s family friendly (some of the horror shows are a bit much for everyone else in the house). I love the idea of the kids growing up listening to positive, encouraging audio like Zig Ziglar and Dan Miller’s 48 Days show, though.

Funny enough, here are the times I rarely listen:

  • When I’m running
  • When I’m working

Yes, I know. That is when many people most want to listen. I’m not saying that this is the “right” way to do it; I’m just saying that it is an example of my own personal preference for the medium. Enough about me and my habits, what about yours?

Do you listen to podcasts? What kinds? Where is your favorite place to listen? Why?

Last week I had the pleasure of speaking at the Alabama SHRM Conference. It was a great experience, and I love taking notes from other speakers throughout the day as well. My friend Dawn Burke from Daxko was speaking about stress on our employees and most notably on the HR staff. There are several reasons we face stress, including the work we do (terminations and investigations, anyone?), the sensitive nature of our jobs, and this pervasive idea that we shouldn’t be friends with anyone in the workplace because we “might” have to face them in a difficult conversation one day.

I have always thought that was somewhat silly, but hearing Dawn talk about it validated my thinking somewhat. When I think about the times I have had to investigate people at work or terminate them for cause, the people weren’t the type of folks I would have been friends with anyway. And even if I was, they were less than 1% of the company’s workforce. If I had decided not to be friends with anyone I would have instantly closed off that entire population of people, ultimately making my work less pleasant and enjoyable.

Today I hope to eliminate this idea that we should close ourselves off from the rest of the world by encouraging you to make some friends in the workplace.

You Need Friends at Work

Let’s go with someone reputable, like Gallup, to make this argument.

Human beings are social animals, and work is a social institution. Long-term relationships are often formed at work — networking relationships, friendships, even marriages. In fact, if you did not meet your spouse in college, chances are you met him or her at work. The evolution of quality relationships is very normal and an important part of a healthy workplace. In the best workplaces, employers recognize that people want to forge quality relationships with their coworkers, and that company allegiance can be built from such relationships.

The development of trusting relationships is a significant emotional compensation for employees in today’s marketplace. Thus, it is easy to understand why it is such a key trait of retention, and is one of the 12 key discoveries from a multiyear research effort by The Gallup Organization. Our objective was to identify the consistent dimensions of workplaces with high levels of four critical outcomes: employee retention, customer metrics, productivity, and profitability. The research identified 12 dimensions that consistently correlate with these four outcomes — dimensions Gallup now uses to measure the health of a workplace. An associated research effort, in which Gallup studied more than 80,000 managers, focused on discovering what great managers do to create quality workplaces.

This item — “I have a best friend at work” — is clearly one of the most controversial of the 12 traits of highly productive workgroups. In answering this item, many employees do not stumble over the word “friend,” because they have many friends at work. Instead, they get stuck on the word “best,” because they feel the term implies exclusivity, and they have trouble identifying one “best friend” among their coworkers.

Gallup discovered the power of this item in identifying talented workgroups — that the strongest agreement occurred in the most productive workgroups. Because some employees had difficulty with the word “best,” Gallup went back to those groups and softened the word to “close” or “good,” or excluded the word “best” entirely. When this was done, however, the item lost its power to differentiate highly productive workgroups from mediocre workgroups. This suggested that the use of the word “best” actually pinpoints a dynamic of great workgroups.

Okay, so friends at work are important to say the least. But let’s say that you have subscribed to the “no friends at work” rule for some time now. How do you start and reverse the trend?

By being friendly.

Here are a few stories about people I know that work in HR that I would say are better than the average and have cracked the code on how to be friendly with staff.

humor resourcesKrista Francis is the HR Director for Jubilee of Maryland, a nonprofit organization. As you can see in this picture, she changed the title of their department for a time to “Humor Resources” as a way to get employee comments and demonstrate their own sense of humor in the team. I think this is fun because people often see HR as the “no police,” not as a source of humor. Side note, check out the Levity Effect if you want more ideas on this.

Dawn Burke, the speaker I referenced at the beginning of this post, works for Daxko. The company provides cubes for all employees, including HR. That means that instead of the snazzy corner office, they get to work in and among the employee population on a daily basis. There are private areas for when times call for them, but I think this helps to break down emotional barriers with employees by breaking down any physical barriers that exist.

How I’ve Done It

Now, I certainly don’t have a monopoly on making friends as an HR pro, but I have several stories about how I have made this work for me that I’d like to share.

In the past when I had the chance to work in a cube environment, I actually appreciated being close to the employees I was serving. Anyone could stop by with questions at any time and didn’t feel like they were bothering me. When I moved to an office it changed that dynamic, even in subtle ways, and I missed the cubicle for that reason.

I also took time to invite random employees to lunch because we shared some common interest. Aaron the Engineer and I always went to lunch and talked about kids, building things, and faith. In the afternoons after work, Duke the Program Manager and Tina the Engineer were always amazing running partners and we could share stories and learn from each other. I also enjoyed chatting with Dave the Systems Analyst about his band and other fun tech-y type things. So many great memories!

Find people who have similar interests to your own and become genuine friends. For instance, in this photo I am standing with my good friends Duke and Tina at the Cotton Row 10k last year. We won the corporate team competition. We started running at work together.

cotton row 10k winners duke tina

Find people who like your same physical activities!

In this photo I’m hanging out with Trish and Steve, two of the smartest, nicest people I’ve met, at the Ultimate Connections event earlier this year. I met both of them through a shared interest in HR and improving the profession.

ultimate connections steve trish

Find people who like your same work activities!

In this picture I’m looking very chipper despite it being 3:00am at the time. This is our celebratory dinner after the annual midnight 5k that we put on to support our local food pantry. Each of these people is passionate about helping others and supporting the needy, which is why we spend dozens of hours planning this event annually.

light up the night 5k

Find people who like your same volunteer/charity activities!

So, think about how you can connect with those around you. It is a chance to enrich your own life and the lives of those around you.

Friends make you better, and better friends make you even better.

Are you friends with people at work? My guess is the smaller the organization the more likely HR folks are friends and the larger the organization the more likely they are not, but maybe that hypothesis is incorrect. I’d be genuinely interested in hearing some stories from others.

This is the second in a series of posts on a day in the life of an HR pro. Today we’re turning our sights to the recruiters out there. Below I have profiled several readers who recruit for a variety of industries and companies. If you missed it, the first edition focused on the work of a human resources manager. Read on below to learn about what recruiters do all day, including some funny comments, in-depth descriptions, and other helpful details.

a day in the life of an hr professional
The Life of a Recruiter

Kyle

  • Company/Industry: Telecommunications
  • Years with Current Company: 7 months
  • Years in HR: 10
  • Degree/Cert: N/A
  • Average Day: I’ve always been one of many hats and my role continues to be that with my current employer. I love working for a company that places the customer front-and-center of everything we do! The ability to find the right person for the right position is priceless.

Alicia

  • Company/Industry: Staffing Agency
  • Years with Current Company: 4 months
  • Years in HR: 4 months
  • Degree/Cert: Certificate in HR Management
  • Average Day: I spend most of my day recruiting on active positions that my clients have an urgent need to fill and plan for 2 hours out of my day to proactively recruit great candidates. My day consists of phone screening, interviewing face to face, prepping candidates for their interviews. Its competitive, fast paced and a ton of fun. The other side of my job is building relationships with my candidates and hiring managers, for example, taking them out to lunch or breakfast. I love that every day is never the same.

Sharon

  • Company/Industry: Healthcare
  • Years with Current Company: 15
  • Years in HR: 17
  • Degree/Cert: Certificate
  • Average Day: A typical day in the life as a Professional Recruiter typical begins with a checklist of priorities. Filtering through emails and notifications of hiring requests. Almost on a daily basis I review the status of new hires and where they fall in the on boarding process, i.e. pre-employment physical clearances, background checks, references and education/employment verifications via our database linked to the vendor we contract with for this service, Tabb Inc.Many days I may find myself working through lunch or eating at my desk depending on the activities I am juggling with, providing wrap around services to our hiring managers and potential candidates. phone screens phone interviews, scheduling in person interviews seeking potential candidates. Our applicant tracking system is our primary resource in our selection process as well as Monster’s resume database. On average I can recruit for up to 75 requisitions across the board from professional, technical, clerical and support services.Finally, my days generally end with checks and balances noting where I left off and what I will plan for in the coming days. I usually set aside 1 to 2 hours towards the end of the business day to manage applicants in our ATS/Monster. Email follow up and other correspondence as needed.

    I work in a fast paced, high volume organization where each day can bring the unexpected. You adapt and rise to the occasion with confidence and poise. It can be a very rewarding and self fulfilling having the ability to change and impact lives for the better. The ability to offer employment opportunities is what makes me want to report to work every day.

Alison

  • Company/Industry: Healthcare
  • Years with Current Company: 7
  • Years in HR: 10
  • Degree/Cert: SHRM-CP
  • Average Day: Our tool is disfunctional so I spend 50% of my day doing transactional items. We are working towards a consultative recruiting model. 1/4 of the day I do phone prescreens with the top applicants. The other 1/4 of my time I spend with managers. Any left over time I am digging out of my overflowing email box.I really like finding a good fit for an applicant and manager. I dislike all the hoops we have to jump through to make it happen.
  • HR wit/wisdom: Sometimes it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.Be careful who you trust, if someone will discuss others with you, they will certainly discuss you with others.If it’s really funny, it’s probably harassment.

    It’s the moments together that change us forever.

    HR Dept: will work for doughnuts. :-)

Carly

  • Company/Industry: Financial Services
  • Years with Current Company: 3.5
  • Years in HR: 2
  • Degree/Cert: N/A
  • Average Day: I spend a lot of my morning sorting through resumes as I sip on my breakfast protein shake. Since we are currently recruiting an average of 10 positions with no ATS, needless to say, my inbox is a nightmare!Much of my afternoon is spent on initial phone interviews with qualified candidates. I schedule blocks of time each day for these meetings, pack them in back to back and and cross my fingers that everything sticks to schedule. I don’t know why I am still surprised by how many candidates are late or stand me up completely – but thats another story for another interview.What’s left of my day is spent going back and forth with hiring managers to get more clarity on what the h-e-double hockey sticks they are looking for in a candidate (changes daily) or talking them off the ledge of a potential bad hire.

    And that’s just the Recruiter side of me as I wear a lot of hats in HR.

Coming up soon we’ll have other HR roles and responsibilities, but I appreciate the participants for sharing! Let me know in the comments below what you think about this series or what specific roles you’d like to see highlighted. 

breaking news micromanagement worksBreaking News: Micromanagement has the last word, now recognized as valuable business practice

“This is the best news since man landed on the moon” said one supervisor for a nationwide clothing retailer.

Just last week news broke that will change the face of the workplace forever. Micromanagement isn’t just a fad anymore, it really works.

Our subject matter expert, Ima Dum’he said, “I know, I know. This seems like one of those things that is too good to be true. But it’s not. I’ve always been a closet micromanager and now I can finally step out into the light proudly. This is a banner day for micromanagers everywhere.”

According to an informal poll conducted prior to publication, we have determined that employees are very excited about this revelation. In the words of one respondent, “Our employees are loving it. We have always hired people that needed some extra ‘direction’ at work, and now we have the proof to back up our actions. The fewer decisions we can leave for them, the better. I mean, we hire people but we really can’t trust them to make decisions on their own. We are actively developing what I like to call a “second check” system where all decisions are flowed up the management chain before we take action in any department.”

Some organizations are wasting no time in pursuing this latest best practice in the business world. Our HR correspondent, Stu Pidhead, told us that for companies to get the most out of micromanagement they need to have executives involved in every decision, no matter how small. He expanded, “Obviously the executives know better than everyone else, how else did they get into those positions? What your employees have to say is irrelevant. Just tell them what you want, all the time, at every juncture, and at every opportunity. They will be very happy to avoid any decisions and be told exactly what to do.”

Another key tip is to develop a policy supporting managers internally in their micromanagement efforts. This ensures across-the-board application and that none of those supervisors trying one of those silly, unproven “leadership” strategies can avoid using this necessary business practice.

We’ll follow this story closely as it continues to develop…