We really need to be careful. With all the laws Congress is passing these days, people have completely glossed over one of the most serious legislative uproars to ever cross the Senate floor. Starting next month, a person’s “pirate status” will become a protected class under EEOC regulations.

The Public Responds

There are all kinds of reactions to this change. Stephen Geraghty-Harrison, a staunch supporter of all things pirate, replied, “Arrrr, it’s about time.”

However, Chris Ferdinandi, more of a traditionalist when it comes to pirate culture, said, “We don’t need someone to give us a special day,” he reached over to polish his cutlass, “If we wanted one, we’d just take it.”

How to Recognize an HR Pirate

1. The parrot in his office keeps squawking, “You’re fired!”
2. Disciplinary procedures include keelhauling, walking the plank, and something called “chumming.”
3. She shows you the wooden leg she got after the accident at the teambuilding activity.
4. His eye patch makes those awkward employee relations conversations even weirder.
5. She raises the Jolly Roger (skull and crossbones) over your office every morning.
6. He reminisces about the good ‘ole days of looting and plundering the office storeroom.

Okay, so maybe I made everything up to have a little laugh? Hey, you’re in HR. Trust me, you need it. Pass this on to someone who may enjoy it! And if you want a little more humor, maybe hiring zombies would work?