Tag Archives: Communication

Communicating with difficult team members

How do you communicate with team members with a chip on their shoulder? What do you do or say when they are stubborn, constantly interrupting, unapproachable, or unwilling to accept feedback? Well, for starters, you are not alone. Every workplace I’ve ever been has at least one of these people working there. Let’s look at a few ways to deal with the madness.

While there are multiple dynamics for this question (dealing with subordinates, peers, and managers), I’m going to stick solely with dealing with team members. 

A personal story

I had an, um, interesting experience at a previous employer with a coworker, and it was the closest I’ve ever come to quitting a job. Here’s my story:

The computers and network at this company were terrible. The internet connection, which I needed to complete my work, was unstable and usually worked about 25% of the time between the hours of 8:00am and 5:00pm. In order to get my work accomplished, I started showing up at work at 7:00am to get some stuff done before the network slowed to a crawl. Well, one morning I received an email about some training that I had been considering, so I opened up the links to the training website, leaving it running in the background so I could read it over my lunch hour.

During lunch, I was sitting there with my door closed when my coworker walked in and announced that she needed to use my computer because hers wasn’t working. I put my lunch down and asked if the internet connection was her issue, because mine wasn’t working either. She walked around behind my desk and pointed accusingly at me because the website was pulled up. Despite my attempt to explain that it was done hours earlier, she walked out and slammed the door.

I put it behind me. The woman had that reputation for being abrasive, and I didn’t need any further stress thanks to our shoddy technical resources.

The next day in our department meeting, our manager asked if anyone had anything to discuss. My coworker looked at her and said, “I think Ben’s not a team player. He was using his computer during lunch yesterday and wouldn’t let me get my work done.”

Of course I did my best, but I couldn’t keep from laughing. I explained the issue and how I had loaded the pages five hours before she came into my office demanding my computer, but I could tell it was a lost cause. The coworker had been working there for several years, and I knew my manager would believe her over me. I refused to give in, but when we left the meeting I felt humiliated by the accusations and betrayed by my manager. One thing was for sure, I was going to start looking for another job right away.

I wanted to tell my personal story as a warning. Everyone in the situation, the manager, coworker, and even me, could have handled the issue better. We all deserve some of the blame for it getting out of hand. Since that time I’ve done everything I can to be more aware of these situations and I try to follow the ideas I’ve listed below. It’s my own personal formula for communicating with difficult team members, so use at your own risk. :-)

How to deal with the issue

First, I would give them a chance to open up. Sit down and talk with them for a few minutes. The easiest advice to follow is that of the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. Here are a few high points (more listed here):

  • Don’t criticize, condemn or complain-Starting with any of those three statements will instantly close the person off to further discussion and could hamper future communication efforts.
  • Give honest and sincere appreciation-Tell them something they did well, and make it sincere. People can tell when you’re setting them up with false appreciation, so make it truthful and heartfelt.
  •  Smile-It might be hard, but it can make or break your discussion.
  • Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language-This is a sales technique, and it works. People enjoy hearing their own name and you can use it to keep them focused on the conversation and what you have to say.
  •  Talk in terms of the other person’s interests-This is one I’ve used to great success. Instead of asking them to make your work easier, show them how making a change will actually help them in the long run. Make it about them, not you.
  • The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it-If an argument begins, drop it. There will be another time and place to continue the discussion, but arguments have a way of getting us to say things that we can’t recover from.
  • Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.” Even if they have the dumbest idea and are completely incorrect, you need to be tactful in the handling of the issue. If not, they will (again) close off and become defensive instead of focusing on the problem and how it can be solved.
  • If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically-This can help teach others that it not only is okay to admit mistakes, it is preferred to the long, drawn-out battle of the wills over who is right and wrong.

So, once you’ve had the talk with the person and followed (as closely as you can) the suggestions above, you should hopefully be in a much better place to communicate with them in the future. Use these principles as a guide for future conversations and interactions and it’s hard to go wrong.

However, sometimes that just isn’t enough. There’s a continual clash between the two parties or even an irreconcilable difference that can’t be overlooked. What else can you do?

  • You can go to your manager for help. They might be able to offer insight or alternatives that aren’t immediately obvious to you.
  • You can do your best to continue your work without interacting with the person. This is less attractive because it can impact how decisions are made, and it’s not a 100% permanent solution.

And that’s about it, really. I’m a fan of handling the issue between you and the other team member if at all possible. However, sometimes there just isn’t a way to get the other person on board. That leaves you with the two options above as the end-of-the-line alternatives for resolution.

Thanks to Kathy Duffy for sending in this great question! Anyone else have an idea they’d like to share for communicating with difficult team members?

Communicating layoffs

Communicating layoffs has to be hard work. I’ve never done it, but even having conversations that affect the livelihood of employees one-on-one is tough enough. Recently I ran across this great article titled “The Speech I Wish CEOs Would Give [for Layoffs]” by Dale Dauten. Link to the original post is at the bottom, but this was too good not to share. After you read it you’ll see that it’s less about how to communicate layoffs and more about alternative solutions, but trust me, it’s worth your time.

——

Sure, there are situations where layoffs are inevitable, but I believe many could be avoided. Here\’s how I wish executives would think about layoffs, expressed as The Speech I Wish CEOs Would Give…

[Speaking to all employees] As you know, our sales revenues are down. I know that you must be worried – fear is a rational response when the media are full of images from the Great Depression. Indeed, everyone is expecting me to announce layoffs – stockholders and other investors want me to do something – anything — to help keep profits from declining, and layoffs are tangible evidence that a CEO is responding. However, I am announcing today that we will NOT be having layoffs anytime soon.

When companies proclaim that they are going to cut staff, here\’s what usually happens. Some of those “cuts” are merely positions that were put in the budget and have yet to be filled, so eliminating them doesn\’t actually reduce current spending, just future budgets. Next, and more importantly, the cuts tend to be among the least expensive employees, especially entry-level employees. Thus, should you succeed in reducing the headcount by 10%, you\’ve actually cut the spending on personnel by less than 5%, perhaps only two or three percent.

Further, total spending on salaries is just a fraction of overall costs; in our case, one-quarter of total expenses. So if you announce a ten percent lay-off, you reduce one-quarter of expenses by a few percentage points, meaning that you succeeded in cutting costs by one or two percent.

And what is the cost of that cost savings? You have fearful employees, hunkering down, devoting much of the internal conversation organization to worry. That\’s not what we hired you to think about.

So today, instead of announcing staff cuts, I am asking you to do join with me in doing the cutting – cutting waste out of our system. My goal is that we find ways to reduce costs by 10%. This will have a financial impact five times greater than cutting the staff by 10%. Further, I want you to find new efficiencies that allow us to take out expenses while better serving our customers. In other words, I\’m asking you to be creative, and for that I need confident, bold employees.

If we do this right, and do this together, we will become a better, faster organization. Together we can go without layoffs. Instead of worrying about who will stay and go, I invite you to join me in worrying about how we will become even more useful to each other and to our customers. Instead of getting rid of some of you, I\’m counting on all of you – now go out and prove me right.

Originally posted on Dale Dauten’s blog.

Define corporate culture for candidates to make better hires

Define corporate culture… is part one of a series on culture. It’s one of the reasons I love where I work (and we have almost 100% retention over the life of the company). I’m hoping to shed some light on my philosophies when it comes to culture and its role in the workplace.

One of the quotable quotes from HRevolution this year was in response to someone asking what HR does to create culture. I think the role for HR is not to create it, but to communicate and reinforce it at every possible opportunity. At least that’s what I do on a daily basis. I see every opportunity to interact, whether internally or externally, as a way to share what makes us different. Some people like what makes us different and some people don’t, but that’s another post for another day.

A few areas to communicate your unique culture (just in the areas of recruiting and selection): Continue reading →

I’ll have to get back to you…

Recently I posted a video on effective communication as an HR competency. I mentioned the importance of using “I’ll get back to you on that” as a daily phrase to help you communicate effectively. One of the comments on the post was fantastic, and I wanted to republish it here so everyone could benefit from this piece of wisdom.

Comment by Mike Brisciana (@mbrisciana_hr on Twitter)

Great point about using “Can I get back to you on that” when you’re scattered, you don’t know the answer, and it’s too important to guess or deflect.

I did this poorly at the beginning of my career (I would feel pressured by more senior people to respond on issues I wasn’t fully familiar with), until a mentor suggested the “can I get back to you shortly” approach. No expects you to have a perfect answer on the spot every time. They do expect you to take them seriously and give their issue your full attention.

“Can I get back to you” communicates, “I know this is important; I want to give you my full attention and my best response, and if I can have a little time to think about this and develop an effective response, it will serve your needs well.” There are times when someone needs an on-the-spot answer, but these are few and far between. In most cases, a slightly later but more substantive answer will be much more effective — and, in the end, much more appreciated.

Love it! Anyone else have something to add?

The Need for Workplace Conflict Resolution

handling conflict at workToday we have a guest post from Claudia Vandermilt on conflict resolution in the workplace. By the way, if you’re local to the Huntsville area, make sure you check out our April lunch meeting on the very same topic. You can find more information on the NASHRM homepage.

In a perfect workplace, everyone would work together in peace and harmony – there would be no politics, disagreements or differing opinions. However, no such workplace exists; conflict is a normal part of daily life and doing business, as each employee has a different view on the world (which is also what makes a business successful). It\’s also a typical challenge for HR.

HR professionals, like yourself, must work hard to create a work environment that allows employees to grow and thrive, and to work together without tension. It\’s your job to ensure that interoffice conflicts don\’t escalate into interpersonal conflicts, so intervention is necessary. Your HR knowledge, management and mediation skills play a critical role in getting employees back to being productive.

From your perspective, conflict within the workplace should actually be considered neutral territory. Your job is to take into consideration the individual, their concerns and the policies of your organization. While addressing conflict is often not an enjoyable part of being in an HR role, it is an aspect that cannot be ignored.

Conflict Resolution vs. Conflict Avoidance

Determining precisely when to intervene in an employee conflict is tricky, but leaving a conflict totally unresolved can greatly harm productivity and teamwork. Addressing conflict isn\’t easy, but giving employees the opportunity to be heard can have positive results for the staff and organization. In a supportive environment, employees experience higher morale and file fewer formal grievances, as they feel validated and appreciated.

Because most conflicts can be resolved quickly and fairly, it\’s best to address them early. Waiting too long or avoiding the conflict altogether only adds to the tension and could even escalate the grievance.  When faced with the challenge of conflict resolution, consider the pros and cons of intervention:

Pros

    Dealing with conflict resolution results in:

    • Stronger relationships
    • Builds teamwork
    • Diffuses anger
    • Encourages problem solving
    • Re-focuses employees toward results
    • Conveys a positive environment
    • Encourages open communication

      Cons

        Avoiding conflict results in:

        • Defensiveness
        • Discourages productivity and teamwork
        • Damages relationships
        • Creates hidden agendas
        • Drains energy and morale
        • Produces stress and animosity
        • Harbors workplace chaos and negativity

        In your role, you have the ability to create a positive, supportive work environment that opens communication and enables employees to achieve success. Swiftly dealing with workplace conflict creates a harmonious environment that motivates employees and encourages creativity, willingness and loyalty.

        Claudia Vandermilt works in conjunction with Villanova University and University Alliance to promote professional training materials. She\’s currently enrolled in Mastering Organizational Effectiveness through Villanova because there\’s little else more challenging than remaining organized.

        Being influential, communication, and culture shock

        sticking togetherI have been writing the RocketHR blog for almost 18 months now, and at times it’s an interesting existence. I try to write with a little less opinion and silliness that pervades my other blog, because I am not only representing myself but my chapter as well. Recently that got a lot easier as several other SHRM chapters and state councils have started using blogs to reach out to their members and share information. Today we’re going to kick off a rotating series to promote other SHRM blogs and help others to learn more about the best chapter blog in north Alabama. Let’s dig into the good stuff that others have shared!

        Greater Cincinnati HR Association

        It’s a big question, and we all would love to know: who is the most influential person for 2011? I think you will be surprised by who has the opportunity to make the top of this list in this great post by Steve Browne.

        Illinois State Council

        We hear a lot about communication these days, but this neat story about communicating up and down the line by Dave Ryan takes us back to a time when tools for sharing were much simpler. While he talks about a method that is old-fashioned, I still love telling people that the best way to be “social” is to pick up the phone!

        HR Mouth of the South (HR Florida)

        My current employer is really focused on a few things, and one of them is communication. We try to make it more difficult than it really is, but doing it consistently and in a timely manner is the basis for simple communication. This piece by Joyce Chastain will make you stop and think about how you are doing in this area.

        Birmingham SHRM

        My friends in the Birmingham SHRM chapter have been busy of late, but this post from their archives is one that I really enjoy. Often when we think of relocation, it’s in hard numbers and how things will work for the company. We rarely think about the effect on employees and any potential culture shock from the change.

        And there you have it! Four great SHRM blogs that you should check into. Thanks for supporting these other chapters and state councils and for keeping RocketHR going strong!