7 more reasons to hire zombies

feed the zombiesIf you didn’t catch the original post on hiring zombies, then you might want to check it out. It will help this post to make more sense! Several of the comments on that post had some great responses, and I’ve incorporated them into this sequel. Okay, less talk, more fun. Here we go!

  1. Zombies simplify the succession planning process. When an executive dies, just bring them back to life.
  2. Zombies don’t need lunch or smoke breaks. 
  3. If performance is an issue, just shoot the offender and bring in a new one.
  4. They are very inexpensive labor and not covered by the FLSA.
  5. You’ll never have to have the “your thong is showing” conversation. 
  6. While body odor would be a problem, the other zombies wouldn’t really care to complain.
  7. If you have to fire a zombie, you can be sure it won’t cry.

Do you have a reason to hire a zombie? I’d love to hear it! Leave a comment below and maybe we can carry this into a trilogy.

Photo by u2canreed.

2 thoughts on “7 more reasons to hire zombies

  1. Paul Smith

    Ben, I love your zombie articles. It’s just one of the things that make your blog unique and enjoyable.

    Here are 5 reasons I thought of:
    1.They supply very good employee referrals. Usually where there is one zombie, you will find more; they seem to network well.
    2.Have you noticed lately, that they move VERY fast (see “28 Days Later”)
    3.They are not very dynamic, so being able to read their body language is easy.
    4.To expand on Trish’s comment, I would say there is never usually a problem with dress codes. They wear the same thing everyday.
    5.They don\’t care if there is a office Christmas party.

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