What’s the scariest thing about human resources? Well, if you want to get the details on that, then you need to hit up the Halogen software site. They\’ve collected horror stories from HR pros and the videos are available for your viewing pleasure. My video (about a voodoo curse!) is found below, and if you click through you\’ll see great stuff from people like Lance Haun, Kris Dunn, Trish McFarlane, and more.
We really need to be careful. With all the laws Congress is passing these days, people have completely glossed over one of the most serious legislative uproars to ever cross the Senate floor. Starting next month, a person’s “pirate status” will become a protected class under EEOC regulations.
The Public Responds
There are all kinds of reactions to this change. Stephen Geraghty-Harrison, a staunch supporter of all things pirate, replied, “Arrrr, it’s about time.”
However, Chris Ferdinandi, more of a traditionalist when it comes to pirate culture, said, “We don’t need someone to give us a special day,” he reached over to polish his cutlass, “If we wanted one, we’d just take it.”
That\’s a snazzy title if I do say so myself! Where did it come from? Well, I was reminiscing about crazy work stories with my coworker, and I then remembered that I\’d never really told the story of how I set an ATM on fire while on the job. So… Here we go!
In the summer after I graduated high school, I wanted to get a job other than working for my parents as I had for several years. So I talked with a friend who was a branch manager at a local bank and she recommended me for the summer hire program. So for the first time in my life, I went to interview for a job.
Needless to say, I got the job. And strangely like my current profession, I was one of the only men to do the job of a bank teller. :-) Anyway, I had been working at different banks in the area, rotating to a new one every other week. Finally I ended up at a location that I really liked. The other tellers were friendly and really enjoyed having me around.
If you didn’t catch the original post on hiring zombies, then you might want to check it out. It will help this post to make more sense! Several of the comments on that post had some great responses, and I’ve incorporated them into this sequel. Okay, less talk, more fun. Here we go!
Zombies simplify the succession planning process. When an executive dies, just bring them back to life.
Zombies don’t need lunch or smoke breaks.Â
If performance is an issue, just shoot the offender and bring in a new one.
They are very inexpensive labor and not covered by the FLSA.
You’ll never have to have the “your thong is showing” conversation.Â
While body odor would be a problem, the other zombies wouldn’t really care to complain.
If you have to fire a zombie, you can be sure it won’t cry.
Do you have a reason to hire a zombie? I’d love to hear it! Leave a comment below and maybe we can carry this into a trilogy.
I am always interested in finding out how people learn about me. But sometimes the information or avenue can be a bit… Um, weird? Yeah, that’s about the only way I can put it. Check out these 25 ways people found me via Google. If you’re one of them, I hope you found what you came for. And it looks like a lot of people ended up here looking for zombie info. Maybe you found that, too.
Can You Train a Zombie? I haven’t, but it doesn’t mean you can’t try. Just keep an eye on your brains.
why i didn’t pass the sphr exam Probably because you didn’t have an awesome study resource to help.
passing the gphr I got some search traffic on this one, but I sure as heck don’t know how to pass the GPHR. Anyone out there in the audience GPHR certified?
HR formulas I feel bad for the people who used that one. It takes you to a post with absolutely nothing useful in it. One of my earlier, funnier posts. I keep meaning to go back and fix that, but it slips my mind…
can sphr be passed without experience No, because you have to have experience to take the SPHR. It’s not the same with the PHR, but it will be in 2011.
I’ve been reading a lot about culture at work recently, and I have to say that I’m intrigued. Before my current job, I would never have thought that it made much of a difference, but now that I have seen the benefits of a solid, positive corporate culture, I am convinced of the value it brings to the organization.
If someone tells you that culture doesn’t matter, they probably don’t have a good one.
Instead of being treated like a child or a criminal where each movement is tracked and must be given a specific reason, I now have the freedom to come and go pretty much whenever I please (as long as I get the job done).
I have never laughed so much in my entire working life as I did in an HR department meeting a while back. Do you ever laugh in meetings? I hope so, because it’s a heck of a lot of fun.
At any time I can walk into my supervisor’s office, sit down, and tell her anything at all. While we have fun together most of the time, we also share some serious moments that impact my career and the business. I love the wild changes in tone. I’m definitely someone who needs to laugh at work, and she is happy to oblige!
I can talk about zombies whenever I want.
These are just a few examples (and looking back, most of them are about humor–interesting) of what my work life is like and how it is different from my previous jobs. But I absolutely love it, and there’s so much room for growth and improvement on my part. I can’t wait to see what the future holds.
Can you say "instant relief?" I can.
VHRG and Leadership
I don\’t know if you\’re a regular reader or not, but Venting HR Guy is a funny human resources blog that showcases some of the daily events we all face. The difference is that VHRG can be a little more forthcoming in detailing his workday, because his identity is a secret. It makes for an interesting blog, that\’s for sure.
Anyway, VHRG often has issues that he tries to deal with at work. However, the response from his boss, known by the clever name “The Boss,†is often to side with the employee for some reason. Have an employee getting payroll advances several times a month for more than a year? Instead of cutting the guy off, VHRG will probably be forced by The Boss to give into the demands of the financially moronic employee. And that’s just one example.
While you might not have that specific problem, I\’m pretty sure that plenty of you have seen this in your own workplace (and if not, count yourself lucky!). You want to handle a situation that is within your realm of influence, but someone upstream gets word of the issue and wants to handle it a different way. How in the world can HR be taken seriously if they\’re constantly hamstrung and second-guessed by senior leadership?
They can\’t.
That\’s why I think VHRG needs some leadership. He needs a change. He is already looking for a new job, and I know that many of us would love to help, but with the whole “cloak of anonymity†he has going on, it\’s a bit tough to do. If you have suggestions for how he can deal with his spineless leaders, please drop them in the comments below. I\’m going to collect and pass them along to him.
In contrast to VHRG’s leadership problems, I spoke to a friend recently who was looking for a new job. She was ready to move on from her current position, and she had her eye on several positions. Then a new leader was brought into the organization, and it’s been amazing to see the change. She’s more positive, excited about her work, and the “leaving” part has completely been pushed out of her mind. It’s amazing to see what positive leadership does, but it’s also sad to see what happens when that leadership is absent, which is what’s going on in VHRG’s situation.
I\’m not picking on my pal here; I just know that there are lots of other HR professionals who have the same issue, and they know that their “leaders†won\’t back them up when a tough issue comes along. And if you have any tips on how he can move into another job, please post them in the comments, too. Every little bit helps, and the HR community is well-known for its helpfulness!
Culture
I’ve been reading a lot about culture at work recently, and I have to say that I’m intrigued. Before my current job, I would never have thought that it made much of a difference, but now that I have seen the benefits of a solid, positive corporate culture, I am convinced of the value it brings to the organization.
If someone tells you that culture doesn’t matter, they probably don’t have a good one.
Instead of being treated like a child or a criminal where each movement is tracked and must be given a specific reason, I now have the freedom to come and go pretty much whenever I please (as long as I get the job done).
I have never laughed so much in my entire working life as I did in an HR department meeting a while back. Do you ever laugh in meetings? I hope so, because it’s a heck of a lot of fun.
At any time I can walk into my supervisor’s office, sit down, and tell her anything at all. While we have fun together most of the time, we also share some serious moments that impact my career and the business. I love the wild changes in tone. I’m definitely someone who needs to laugh at work, and she is happy to oblige!
These are just a few examples (and looking back, most of them are about humor–interesting) of what my work life is like and how it is different from my previous jobs. But I absolutely love it, and there’s so much room for growth and improvement on my part. I can’t wait to see what the future holds.
I am always interested in finding out how people learn about me. But sometimes the information or avenue can be a bit… Um, weird? Yeah, that’s about the only way I can put it. Check out these 25 ways people found me via Google. If you’re one of them, I hope you found what you came for. And it looks like a lot of people ended up here looking for zombie info. Maybe you found that, too.
